It’s a feeling. Or maybe the lack of one. The lack, of feeling that you’ve accomplished something. You sit and wonder what great shakes you’ve done. “Oh yes, I have just cured cancer”. Okay maybe, “Yes, I just wrote a bestseller”. Or maybe “Yes, I just wrote a piece which I will treasure for years to come”. Yes, the lack of that feeling.
It’s sad but that void comes only from one place. The world. Comparisons drawn in the world. Comparisons not drawn against one’s self. Because if you’re just starting off, you don’t even know how to compare with yourself. So your subconscious compares. Regularly with many updates.
You compare with the people of the world. The actions of those people. The achievements of those people. The levels reached. The comparisons can be monetary as well. It happens. We compare because we can’t help it. And how does that make you feel? Lacking in worth. And that is an endless abyss. Once you enter that black hole, it’s not easy clambering back out. It sucks you in deeper and deeper, until the bleak reality of a failed life hits you.
So what do we do?
I don’t know. Because there is nothing specific to do. There is no set rule to come back to yourself. You try and try. Experiment. “Work hard and have your goals in order”, is all hoopla over nothing. Everyone works hard, at something or the other. The point is to find what works for you. Try whatever the hell fancies you. Try, scrape, beg, borrow, smash. But don’t stop trying. Come back to yourself. Become yourself. Someday. Someday, when your attempt is successful.
That’s my plan. As of now, I’m going to go and compare my words with some others, cursing myself for having done so.
Thoughts unexplored 