Archive for October, 2013

I’m (not) a writer.

Posted: October 1, 2013 in I wonder
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Writing as a profession has lost its sheen for me. When you write for money, you stop writing for yourself. This was the conclusion drawn from a chat I had recently with fellow writers. You’re just tired at the end of a day of writing, and you immerse yourself in whatever chosen form of substance abuse. And so you write for money and money writes for you.

So maybe you decide it’s time to let go off that money and devote time to your own faculties. So you take time off, just as I did. To just write. But it never remains just that. Because when one lives in our society, one is weighed and judged by what one does. “What do you do?”, is often the first question asked. I was once asked that even before being asked my name. And instead of spending time explaining your current confused state of affairs, the reflex is to say – “I’m a writer”.

There is a certain glamour associated with saying that. The eyes of the listener light up as if you are his connect to the fancy world of ‘creativity’. And that decidedly propels them down the path of tracking your literary life. At that point, or at any given future encounters, the question arises – “So what are you writing about?”. And then you must give an answer out of courtesy. You make up a reply that appeases their senses, and still maintains an air of being vague. Cause let’s face it, which writer knows what the hell he’s writing about.

And this pattern. This stupid pattern repeats itself. The time taken off is spent explaining why time was taken off. And the subconscious starts developing a certain frustration for writing. Because now one must explain writing which hasn’t even been written. And never gets written. And therein lies the problem. It’s simple telling people you’re a writer, and writers block your favourite friend. It’s harder to disassociate yourself from this world, until you’ve actually earned your place in it. Even then, I’d say don’t tell anyone you’re a writer. We have trouble enough finding place for ourselves in our heads. Let’s keep the others out for a change.