Archive for the ‘I wonder’ Category

I’m (not) a writer.

Posted: October 1, 2013 in I wonder
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Writing as a profession has lost its sheen for me. When you write for money, you stop writing for yourself. This was the conclusion drawn from a chat I had recently with fellow writers. You’re just tired at the end of a day of writing, and you immerse yourself in whatever chosen form of substance abuse. And so you write for money and money writes for you.

So maybe you decide it’s time to let go off that money and devote time to your own faculties. So you take time off, just as I did. To just write. But it never remains just that. Because when one lives in our society, one is weighed and judged by what one does. “What do you do?”, is often the first question asked. I was once asked that even before being asked my name. And instead of spending time explaining your current confused state of affairs, the reflex is to say – “I’m a writer”.

There is a certain glamour associated with saying that. The eyes of the listener light up as if you are his connect to the fancy world of ‘creativity’. And that decidedly propels them down the path of tracking your literary life. At that point, or at any given future encounters, the question arises – “So what are you writing about?”. And then you must give an answer out of courtesy. You make up a reply that appeases their senses, and still maintains an air of being vague. Cause let’s face it, which writer knows what the hell he’s writing about.

And this pattern. This stupid pattern repeats itself. The time taken off is spent explaining why time was taken off. And the subconscious starts developing a certain frustration for writing. Because now one must explain writing which hasn’t even been written. And never gets written. And therein lies the problem. It’s simple telling people you’re a writer, and writers block your favourite friend. It’s harder to disassociate yourself from this world, until you’ve actually earned your place in it. Even then, I’d say don’t tell anyone you’re a writer. We have trouble enough finding place for ourselves in our heads. Let’s keep the others out for a change.

Uncommon.

Posted: January 15, 2013 in I wonder
Tags: , , ,

Why must we earn a living? Why not earn a right to live? It’s the quintessential dilemma. To work for money or work for love? Or to love work? Or to love money? Or to love nothing and hate yourself? Or just somehow be self-destructive enough to love yourself for hating yourself? I guess life sometimes feels like a paradox. The cyclic quadrilateral-triangle of life. It’s like looking through a glass made of a varying thickness. You know something isn’t right, but you’re busy distracted by the colours that get refracted. So you sit, stare in and look like a retard to the rest of the world.

My issue – why is there a need to get lost in these stupid questions? Why god, why? We as Neanderthals were meant to focus on our basic needs – survival, sustenance, and sex. We have grown slightly smarter, thus the variance in the definitions of the same. Survival, has become a rat race. At the end of the race, there’s a nice fat cat waiting to swallow you whole. Sustenance, is now led by advertising. Cause let’s face it, if there was no advertising, we wouldn’t know what to eat. And sex? Okay sex is the same. It’s good. When you’re getting some of it. Otherwise it just makes you look bad.

light up

So we now have ‘intelligent’ scenarios for the Neanderthal life. It’s the logical progression. I think that’s where the main issue crops up. Who decides the logical progression? Logic is supposed to be quantifiable. What is now known as ‘common sense’, is masqueraded as logic. I guess that’s also a logical progression in life. Common sense. Common because everyone has that sense. I guess the next logical progression in life would now be to develop uncommon sense. Now, wouldn’t that be swell? To justify an act, or the lack thereof, with the proclamation of the widely acclaimed, winner of no lifetime achievement award – Uncommon sense. I wonder how everyone, who can’t survive without the ‘questions of life’, would react to uncommon sense. I guess their only form of sustenance comes from converting more to follow the herd, because it’s ‘safe’. Their logical progression would lead to the creation of other facets of common ideologies. It just defeats the purpose of creation. An individual is created unique. So logically speaking, how can he be common?

 

The consequences of blogging are profound. Deep. Meaningful. Subliminal. They affect our daily behaviour; our nightly behaviour. And all the time in between. We as animals are very social humans. There is a need, deep within our loins. On the satisfaction of those needs, we find that we have some additional needs. That of propagating our propaganda through thoughts. Everything needs to be said, expressed, explained and voiced. It’s all a matter of voice, if you really go to see. The blogosphere has become our voice. It’s a place to be our self and enlighten the dark world with our wise words.

And so we talk. We talk about our thoughts, our daily activities, our social obligations, our relationships, our lack thereof, our needs and obviously of our pets. Everything we see, touch, eat, shit needs to be recorded on our personal-public diary. Because if it can be thought, why not written for the world to read.

And then the world becomes an agenda. Everything becomes the start of a new post. Your entire thought process becomes attuned to the search of a new post. The new post. Ah, the new post. Every facet of your existence can be a new post. And then the avalanche of questions begin.

“Is it good enough to share?”
“Would my followers like it?”
“How should I rewrite it to make it more relevant?”
“I wonder if my stats will show any change?”
“Should I share it on facebook to get more hits?”
“Should I write a book?”
“Should I write a post on writing a book?”

It’s a vicious circle. Questioning everything in the quest of a new post. The never-ending river, that will dredge your sanity. The world is there to experience. We end up creating experiences with an agenda. I’m sure it’s not the case with everyone. But deep down within our subconscious, it is. We forget the reason this also started. To let our voice be sounded out. But along the way, we let our voice change due to the sound. A classic case of ever-changing influences. A case of medium over matter.

What if I had super powers?

What if I came from another planet? Planet Jalzoid. My bone density and Earth’s gravitational pull would let me accomplish grandiose tasks. I like the sound of that.

But if I had super powers, would I use it for good or bad? “With great power comes great responsibility” … blah. What’s the fun in that? Live a poor life, wearing masks while jumping around as a caped crusader? Why not rather make a truck load of money, use my powers to seduce women and leave the world no choice but to follow me. Why not? What’s the use of super powers if not to use them? And if you go to see, me being the number one power in the world would actually be good. Quarrels and fights would be a thing of the past. Cause which man would dare stand up to the Jalzoid law? Unity would be something the world would finally know.

Oh, the world would truly unite. Against me. Because that’s what always happens. The world is not meant to be ruled by one. Freedom is essential. Forced freedom is an illusion used on the mind. Plus, who doesn’t like hating their leaders. It’s just a thing people got to do.”Playas gotta hate.” So, there would come a time when the world would unite to overthrow me and my waylaid ideologies. And that is when the world would rise above petty issues. So I would probably be the Dr. Manhattan or the Dark Knight of the world. Everyone thinks I’m bad (and I am bad, shush), but for the greater good of the world. See, I had the bigger picture in mind. And everybody has a kryptonite. Those bastards would find mine hiding on the supermarket shelves. Bastards.

And that is the reason for me having hidden my super powers from the world. I do not want to face my glorious end. So the world falls apart for my selfish reasons of staying alive. I am truly sorry. Global unity will have to wait. Till then there are others who believe they have god given superpowers. And their kryptonite is their own stupidity. Let’s go for them instead?